Category Archives: Stock Shock Headliners

Stock Shock Headliners for Plausible Yet Untrue Headlines

This post contains factious  news headlines about companies I currently hold stock, and are not meant to be degrading, or cause harm to any company or brand.  They are for pure entertainment purposes only.  Which ones do you think are plausible, hysterical, or insulting?  Comments appreciated. (CRM) teams up with T-Mobile and their spokesperson, that spunky lady on the motorcycle to give their salesforce customers an integrated mobile solution for the salesperson on the go.

Accenture (ACN) teams up with the CIA and MI5 to put a management consulting presentation together for the United Nations of how the world can be run more efficiently.  They gave an exceptionally low, fixed price bid, with a mix of management consultants onshore, near shore, and offshore. (AMZN) had everyone amazed as they picked up their headquarters and moved to the Amazon.  The board felt the surroundings would bring a better work / life balance for the employees.

The America Express Company (AXP) launched a new campaign teaming up with Google (GOOG) called the Chrome card.  All spending using Google Play earned 2 points for every dollar spent.

In a series of moves, Apple (AAPL) felt Amazon’s move was ambitious and wanted to follow suit, picked up shop and moved to the big apple, New York City.

Bank of America (BAC) acquired JP Morgan Chase (JPM) in a continual series of acquisitions neither company could afford, but hey, it’s America, and we run a deficit.

BlackBerry (BBRY) in an effort to rebrand it’s products and again gain corporate marketshare, named it’s new line the poison pill.  Many companies are flocking to this new device in droves.

Cisco (CSCO) join up with General Dynamic (GD) and Walt Disney (DIS) to produce a super new ride that allows the rider to drive a HMMWV or shoot the mounted BGM-71 TOW at abandoned tanks on the new Test Track course.